Jul 2014
Josie Bungert

I refuse to get engaged because Facebook is telling me to

I’ve written before about the relationship that I am in, and how very happy I am with my boyfriend. And yeah, like many couples, our relationship is on social media. Meaning, we are FBO, we have photos together, and I tweet his hilarity frequently.

But the downside to social media being important (and sometimes seemingly essential) for some couples to prove their love and cuteness to the world is that it begins to govern their relationship, and other’s frequent activity about their own respective relationships can govern it, too.

What I mean is, we’ve all seen what happens when something significant happens in our friends’ relationships – they post it to social media, specifically, Facebook. I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that almost everyday I have friends posting their engagements, pictures from their weddings, and baby announcements. This is all wonderful, and absolutely something I would hope to be apart of one day.

But the constant stream of these happy moments can do something to a person. It’s gotten me thinking about how I should be there already, like having a boyfriend is not enough – according to Facebook, he needs to be my fiancehusbandfatherofmychildren ASAP. It’s a struggle for me because, yes, I’ve thought about these things, and yes, I adore seeing these posts from my dear friends.

In addition to my real love of love, what doesn’t help tone it down is what people say, in this age of social media. Phrases like “tell me before it’s on Facebook!” or “I can’t wait for you to get engaged and post a picture of your ring!” make it harder to not want it just because the Facebook world wants it. Trust me, I’m excited for these eventual times in my life when I can share important moments with loved ones just as much as the next person.

The bf and I

The bf and I

But I guess what I’m getting at is, I refuse to let social media push me into the next phases of my life before I really am ready. I think it could be easy to accidentally let yourself want an engagement, a marriage, a baby, because social media is telling you so with the happiness of your friends. The thing is, though, I don’t want Facebook to be the reason that I discuss the future with my boyfriend – I want my true desire to move on in our relationship and lives to drive that conversation, and eventual move toward discussion on social media.

I don’t really know if this is a common issue in our modern day society, per se, but it’s something that I can’t help but think is happening. There are days I find myself craving change in my life, even outside of my relationship, simply because unless I am doing something incredibly significant that social media craves, I seem like I’m not living my best life. So, if something happens to me that I want to share with others, I’ll probably post it, but I won’t force it to happen in order to post it. And I hope others resist the social media urge, too.