Apr 2014
Josie Bungert

“That is SO Jesuit.”

Mean Girls, the movie that defined current college kids’ generation, celebrates its tenth anniversary next week. So, all this week, Hitchcock Blogs contributors will be bringing you our own thoughts on this profound and important film.

I love this movie as much as the next 20-something. It’s witty & funny, has my female idol Tina Fey and her equally funny sidekick Amy Poehler, and teaches many life lessons through a high school lens. As important as all of this is, the main reason I adore this film is because it is SO quotable … and so many of the quotes can be applied in so many different ways to Creighton.

Here are 10 Mean Girls quotes as they apply to our great school, Creighton University.

10. “Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die.”

This one can be altered to fit the scenario:

Don’t run across 24th st. Because you will get hit and die (lucky for me I didn’t).
Don’t walk through the “F” door in RAL. Because you will fail your test and die.
Don’t stay in a coed’s Kiewit residence hall past 2 AM on the weekends. Because you will get caught by the RA and die.
Don’t wear heels on the mall. Because you will trip and die.

The list goes on.

9.  “Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean, that’s just like, the rules of feminism!”

At Creighton, the 60/40 girl/guy ratio will hopefully have you agreeing with this. There are so few guys, that there will be a chance you sate (intentionally or unintentionally) one of your girl friend’s ex boyfriends. This can pose a problem at Creighton, because everybody seems to know everybody. If you go and date one of your girl friend’s ex boyfriends, well, it could get back to her… real quick. And dating someone’s ex publicly? UM they will see you on the mall. Though this may not be a phrase to say aloud at Creighton, it’s pretty much a mantra here.

8. “I can’t go out *cough* *cough* I’m sick.”

& 7. “Boo, you (know where I’m going with this)”

I have used both of these (sorry, mom) in conversation. “I can’t go out, I’m sick” as said in true Karen form, can make your friends less angry at you for not wanting to go out with them (especially on Wednesjay when you totes have way too much to do still for the rest of the week). They will think it’s funny, even if only for a few seconds. Responding to your friends who are making said lame excuse to not go out with “Boo, you whore” lets them know you aren’t actually mad, since you’re taking the time to quote this hysterical movie. Can also be used individually, say if a friend doesn’t want to go study in RAL or workout in the KFC with you, or if you don’t want to do either of these with them.

6. “That is so fetch!” “Stop trying to make fetch happen. It’s not going to happen.”

At Creighton, “thatshitcreigh” is saved for hashtags, Facebook photo albums, and witty t-shirts. You say “thatshitcreigh”  out loud,  yeaaaa that’s not going to happen. Stop trying to make thatshitcreigh happen. It’s never going to happen.
Can also be applied to social norms:
Stop trying to sneak onto the golden elevator. It’s not going to happen.
Stop trying to bring the squirrels home to be your pet. It’s not going to happen.
Stop trying to date one of the basketball players. It’s not going to happen.

5. “She doesn’t even go here”

I mean, self explanatory. Can be used for both males and females. You’re at a Creighton game in the student section (ugh) and a girl walks in in forest green or hot pink and expects to sit in the front row, or at least a row that will get her on camera. Yeah, she doesn’t even go here. You see someone walk through the “F” door, he doesn’t even go here. Someone asks you where the Kentucky Fried Chicken and the pool are? YEP THEY DON’T EVEN GO HERE.

4. “On Wednesdays we wear pink.”

Or blue&blue, or bordeaux, or green & pink, or at least your letters… lucky for us Creighton’s chapter night for sororities falls on Wednesdays, so we use this line like, well, every Wednesday in our Facebook groups. And in recruitment skits. And in hashtags in photos of us in these matching colors/letters. And in conversation when you’re reminding everyone to wear these shirts so we can take matching photos. It couldn’t be more perfect.

3. “You can’t sit with us!”

OK I have used this one for a plethora of reasons. For example:

You didn’t wear your sorority color or letters on Wednesday(see above)? You can’t sit with us.
You’re not going to the Creighton game on Saturday? You can’t sit with us.
You aren’t going to formal this weekend? OK no you can’t sit with us.
You just aced the test that I failed, and I’m sad about it, so you can’t sit with us.
You got into the PHL 320 class that we need to graduate and I didn’t? You can’t sit with us.

You embarrassed the hell out of me at Billy Frogg’s on Wednesjay after you also didn’t wear your letters to the test that you aced and I failed AND you registered and got all the awesome classes that I need for my med school pre-reqs so NO YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US.

Basically, this phrase can address all of the #creightonprobz we encounter here.

2. You go Glen Coco

This phrase is appropriate for so many scenarios, and the strength of it can be adjusted for whatever CU situation you find yourself in.
A rep from your Greek organization does an awesome Mean Girls “Jingle Bell Rock” performance during Greek Week? You go Glen Coco!
Your friend trips on the brick? You go, Glen Coco
Your friend gets into med school? YOU GO GLEN COCO!!

Great thing about this phrase: It can be used pretty much whenever and wherever.

1. And none for Gretchen Wieners

(replay above video clip)

Again, versatile and applicable everywhere. Sophomore year me whipped this one out frequently when I got to late night at Java Jay 30 minutes early in order to ensure that I got cookies & milk, and then my friends who got there at 10:40 expecting to get some didn’t (and in my head I was saying to myself, you go Glen Coco). Also great to snidely say to your friends when they didn’t get any of the free stuff from WAC, didn’t get a ticket into the student section of the men’s basketball game, didn’t get a spot in the library during finals week, didn’t get a date to formal, etc. Most powerful to use when you did get something that they didn’t.

OBVIOUSLY, these should all be used in good fun. Don’t be a bully! Always share, include those that don’t go here, and always, always let people sit with you. #jesuitvalues

Any other ideas? Tweet at me, @jlbungert