25
Mar 2014
Josie Bungert

How to be happy for your friends even when you’re not (part 2)

In this continuation: how fake your way to happiness when necessary.

If you didn’t read my post yesterday, click here for part one of the list of ways to be happy for your friends even if you’re not.

5.) Recognize what brings you joy. Their happiness may not bring you that over-the-moon, happier than a rainbow on a rainy day joy, but something surely does. If their happiness is getting to you, reconnect with that thing that brings the joy. Maybe all you need is to get out of the bitter rut, and this thing, your thing, could make that happen.

4.) Ask yourself: are they the ones really making you unhappy? Have you considered that your rage may be something else entirely? Examine this, so that in case it is something else, you can channel your negative energy towards that, and therefore allow room for happiness for the couple.

3.) Take time to reconnect with others. Maybe your unhappiness for them is simply because they have been getting all of your attention. This can happen easily, especially if the person is your best friend, or your sibling. If they are this close to you, you are probably not just learning about it on social media, but are being talked to about it by your parents, other friends, and relatives. Take time to hang out with people outside this immediate circle. Maybe you just need a mental break from it all, and hanging out with those unrelated to the couple in any way can clear your head.

2.) Realize the reasons their situation isn’t yours. Whether you’re not in a relationship and don’t want to be, or are just waiting for that special someone to pop the question, don’t do a direct comparison. There are most likely reasons it hasn’t happened for you yet (you’ve been completely committed to your career, or just haven’t met the right person, etc.) and that’s OK. Don’t question yourself and your life if you have your own plan. It’s totally alright to have a different plan than others.

1.) Fake it until you make it. Sometimes this is the only option. You may not be able to conquer whatever it is separating you from sharing in eternal happiness for the couple, and that’s okay. But also realize you may find yourself spending time with them, and you don’t want to damper their bliss. In this case, faking it is more than okay. Better to fake it than bring them down, and if you’re good at it, it could even end up bringing them up.

 

Any ways or strategies you think I missed? Tweet at me, @jlbungert